


Sing a Song of Taiga's Angst

by lucybeetle



Category: Kamen Rider Ex-Aid
Genre: Angst, Crack, M/M, Parody, Songfic, past CEOSnipe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-17 16:20:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9333128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucybeetle/pseuds/lucybeetle
Summary: Taiga angsts in a bad songfic.





	

**Author's Note:**

> How this fic came to be: 
> 
> I was reading TokusatsuNetwork's run-down of its 2016 tokusatsu faves, and they listed the best ED theme of the year as Matsuoka Mitsuru's "Goodbye little moon" which was used in the Kamen Rider Chaser V-Cinema. (The song was actually released in 2015 during Drive's main run, so I don't think they should've counted it, but whatevs.) So then I listened to the song and went all daydreamy because it's very sad and emotional and I love Chase. Then for some reason I had a mental image of Taiga wandering through a lonely sunset singing it as he angsts about losing Dan. I don't think I could ever do a serious songfic, so I just wrote this instead.

The breeze blew, ruffling Hanaya Taiga’s hair; the white streaks reminiscent of snow, which was very cold, like the breeze. He probably should have worn something a bit more substantial than his yellow wrap but he barely felt the chill anyway. It was nothing compared to the numbness inside his heart.

 _The sky we were searching for – that small white moon in the day_ _  
Afraid because it looked on the verge of disappearing, we watched it till it was dyed orange_

The sky above glowed fading shades of orange and pink as the sun set. The moon was already faintly visible above. It reminded him of waking one morning beside Dan just as day broke; watching the the moon’s last lingering traces fading as the sun lit up the horizon. Dan had given a detailed meteorological explanation as to how they could both be in the sky at the same time but Taiga couldn’t remember all that crap now.

 _Worries are always here, and to appease two at once_ _  
Is me, somewhere, without courage and still unable to let go of solitude_

Taiga needed a cigarette. All intense, brooding men smoked as they wandered alone at twilight; and the bitter taste would suit his mood. He could also be satisfied in the knowledge that he was severely damaging his body (although use of the Gashats was doing that anyway.) The only problems were that he didn’t smoke and didn’t have any cigarettes with him. He could go into a shop and buy some, but then he’d have to go all the way back down the waterfront for that. To get his value for money, he’d have to finish the whole packet – and he would probably need to buy a lighter too. He couldn’t be bothered.

Dan had smoked after sex sometimes. It looked really hot. Now Taiga would never wake up beside him again, entangled in Dan’s lovely long legs. The only time he would see his loved one would be as they faced each other to fight.

 _Spoiled by love, hiding my wounds_ _  
Even so still smiling_

Even if Taiga could have somehow miraculously got out of this alive, if the Bugsters could be defeated, if he could undo the effects of the virus and Gashats and have a normal lifespan, he didn’t anticipate he would have ever found another person like Dan. He didn’t need other people anyway. He had always been a loner, even in his innocent early days as CR’s doctor, before they callously cast him out onto the streets (and into the abandoned hospital) when he was no longer useful to them. Well, Taiga should have stayed that way. He would never trust anyone and never open his heart again.

There were only two small consolations: first, Dan was going to die too. Second, Taiga knew the combination to the safe in Dan’s office, and had cleaned it out after Dan abandoned Genm Corp.

 _Goodbye my lover, farewell dear person_ _  
Goodbye little heart, farewell dear days_

He was determined that he would be the one to defeat Kamen Rider Genm and kill Dan. His pride wouldn’t allow for any other outcome, and more importantly, the fate of the world depended on it. Hojo Emu didn’t know what the Gashats were really for or how to use them. Taiga would just have to steal them all before Dan could get them, and destroy all the Bugsters himself, and then Genm. All while everyone believed he was an incompetent doctor who had recklessly let a patient die whilst playing video games. Taiga would save them anyway, because that was just the kind of guy he was.

He was deliberately not thinking about what it would really mean to kill Dan; the man he had once loved, and probably still did. Dan himself wouldn’t hesitate to kill Taiga or in fact everyone else on earth including all the children and old ladies – so Taiga didn’t feel particularly guilty about it. But Dan’s death would be the end of everything they had shared together, including the many good parts. That sucked major balls.

(Dan had been very good at sucking Taiga’s, for that matter.)

 _I ran through, pretending that I am unafraid of anything_  
_I won’t forget your kind voice_  
_I won’t forget those tears of yours_  
_Without turning back, so that I won’t be overtaken by time_

Taiga wondered how he’d feel when all this was over. He hadn’t felt any particular satisfaction at Graphite’s death, but at least it had given him a sense of completion. This was what psychoanalysts called “closure.” Taiga didn’t practice this kind of medicine. He would rather let syphilitic rats chew out his eyeballs than have his patients lie on a couch whilst he told them to blame their parents for everything.

His train of thought was interrupted by a voice considerably younger and more feminine than Dan’s, “Hey!”

“Go away,” said Taiga automatically. He didn’t need to look to know who was speaking; but he turned around anyway, “How did you even know I was here?”

“I followed you, obvs.” Nico rolled her eyes. “Where are you going?”

“None of your business,” said Taiga, though he wasn’t really going anywhere at all.

“Are you on your way to beat up M for me?”

“No.”

“Maybe you should start heading back then,” said Nico. “It’s getting late … and it’s freezing. You’re not even properly dressed.”

“What are you, my mother?” said Taiga.

 _That moon we searched for is a big and white, white moon_ _  
It chases us here in the night it can never escape from_

Taiga looked up at the sky. It was completely dark; the moon full and glowing overhead now.

“Whatcha lookin’ at?” said Nico. She looked upwards, “Oooohhh, a full moon. There’ll be werewolves out here!”

“Maybe they’ll eat you and spare me having to crush you,” said Taiga.

Nico caught Taiga’s arm. He stopped, and she frowned, studying his expression – “Are you OK?”

“I am never OK.”

“Did someone upset you? Because if they did, I’ll totally kick their ass. Or, you know, hack their bank account and make their life a living hell.”

As annoying as Nico was, Taiga would never put her in Dan’s path. No doubt if Dan found out about her, he would attack her and Taiga would have to rescue her. Then she’d be under the false impression he was her friend, rather than a victim of her constant harassment.

 _I won’t forget your kind voice_  
_I won’t forget those tears of yours_  
_A promise I swear on the moon, without turning back_

Nico slipped her arm through his, “Come on, big bro. Let’s go home.”

“It’s my home. Not yours,” said Taiga. He couldn’t help but feel his heart lift a tiny bit at the thought that someone cared for him, even if it wasn’t Dan. Even if the reason she was interested in him was because she expected him to go and smack some random loser who had beaten her in a game. Logically, absolutely nothing was OK: the world was overrun with the game disease. It was a race against time for Taiga to get all the Gashats, wipe out the Bugsters, and defeat Genm. But his irrational fuzzy emotions made him _feel_ like he might be OK without Dan. He blamed Nico for that and also Hojo Emu. Little girls and bleeding-heart liberals were very big on feelings.

Nico resisted Taiga’s multiple attempts to shove her off, and after a while he gave in. He turned around and let her lead him down the road back towards his hospital. With a last glance up at the sky, he allowed himself to have one more lingering angsty thought about Dan.

 _The one that we searched for_  
_The one that we gazed at_  
_That looked on the verge of disappearing, that small…_  
_Goodbye little moon_


End file.
